this is me

this is me

Journal Jar - Books

Q:  What is your favorite book? Tell about your favorite books as a child, teen and adult.

A:  When I was a little girl, my favorite book was Charlotte's Web because I knew Wendy liked it.  So I decided I liked it, too.  As a pre-teen, I loved Goosebumps and the Babysitter Teen Whatever books.  I can't remember its name.  As an adult, I loved The Work and the Glory series, and I love just about everything else I read.  If I don't love then I stop reading it.

Q:  What is your favorite movie, book, poem and song?

A:  My favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice with a close runner-up of Nacho Libre.  My favorite book .... I'm not sure how you could compare books and choose a favorite.  They all mean different things at different times.  Especially if you love the characters in more than one book.  You can't choose one of them over another :)

Q:  What do books mean to you?

A:  Books mean that real life and chaos can take a break.  If you're running around too crazy to have any time to read, then you don't

Q:  Describe the role of reading in your life.

A:  There's always things to read ... books, magazines, the news, blogs, things to research (like how to help Abbi with her homework).  Reading isn't a hobby, it's how you put information in your brain so you're up to date, learning, and enjoying life.

Q:  When was the first time you realized that you could read?

A:  I can't remember.  It must have been some time in Kindergarten.

Q:  Do you have a favorite author? Who? Why?

A:  I love the books by the twelve apostles.  They give life to the principles I'm trying to learn and work on.  I have favorite fictional authors but nothing I religiously seek out.

this is me

this is me

Journal Jar - Birthday

Q:  Do you remember a special birthday party you've had, given or attended?

A:  I've had a lot of great birthdays.  My parents always gave me a special day when I was young.  When I was in elementary school, my dad would pick me up from school and take me out to lunch.  After school, my mom would take me to pick out a birthday cake.  On your birthday, you automatically got the front seat without having to battle for it.  And then, the Folkmans and Jones' and my grandparents would come over for cake and ice cream.  Since then, my most memorable was in New Jersey when strangers gathered to give me a surprise party at Applebee's.  I met most of them for the first time that day.

Q:  Describe favorite birthday present.

A:  Am I horrible?  I can't remember a lot of them.  I got some dolls I loved when I was young.  Probably my favorite is the Tiffany's ring Anne bought me for my 23rd birthday.  I was just out of college and I've worn it everyday since.

Q:  If you could have your favorite dinner for your birthday, what would it be?

A:  I have enjoyed lots of birthday dinners out ... El Matador, Tony's, Macaroni Grill, Noodles and Co., Spaetzle, etc.  I don't really care what is for dinner, I just like to have company.

Q:  Tell about family traditions: Christmas, birthdays, graduations, Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, weddings.

A:  Christmas - Christmas Eve Party, Tea Party, happiness in general; birthdays - cake and ice cream; graduations - nothing specific but we're always proud of whoever did it; Fourth of July - sunrise ceremony, parade, park, resting and fun, BBQ, fireworks; Halloween - when I was young we traveled to a few homes to visit and raked in a lot more than traditional trick or treating; Thanksgiving - Weber River Trail walk, appetizers, a great dinner, and a pile of pies; Weddings - celebrations, in our family they only come every seven years so it's hard to say it's a uniform type celebration.

Q:  Tell about anniversaries, celebrations, trips, and gifts that you remember.

A:  I've had one anniversary so far and I got my best little pup, Daisy.  Jake got a tent.  We celebrate whatever we can, whenever we can.  By we, I mean me and whoever I can get to join my crazy train.  The best trips I've had are my honeymoon, the Caribbean cruise, Bear Lake, New York, and San Antonio.

Q:  What was the best birthday you ever had? Why?

A:  I don't have a favorite.  I love birthdays, mine or anyone else's as long as we get to celebrate.

this is me

this is me

Journal Jar - About

Q:  When you were a child, what games did you play in your house or neighborhood?

A:  When I was young we liked to play Monopoly with my dad.  I liked to play pretty much every any game that anyone would play with me but I never liked Clue.  During the summer, the neighborhood would come alive after dark with night games.

Q:  What is your full name? Who were you named for? How do you feel about your name? 

A:  Joey LaVaun.  My parents had thought about naming me Shari if I was a girl and Joseph if I was a boy.  Joseph LaVarr, after my grandpa.  But I was a girl, and my dad said I wasn't a Shari.  So here I am, Joey LaVaun, after my grandma.  I love my name, even when it has to be explained to every 3rd person.  It's unique.  I can't imagine sharing a popular name with a host of other girls.  It's too good to share.  Even better, I am named for my Grandma Hansen who loves and works hard for the comfort of her family.  She loves, remembers, and appreciates her heritage.  I like that about her.

Q:  What activities do you enjoy doing today that you also enjoyed as a child? Describe them.

A: I love and loved playing games.  I love and loved organizing things and counting money.  I would pretend to do all the things that I grew up to do.  I love and loved being around my family.

Q:  What special skills did you learn as a child? Who taught you?

A:  I learned how to pour a bowl of cereal and make macaroni and cheese at a young age.  It was sort of a survival skill.  My mom probably taught me ... she knew I would need it for survival.

Q:  What were your best and worst subjects in elementary school? In middle school? In high school?

A:  I was really good at math in elementary school.  In junior high, I did well in English.  And in high school, I barely pulled out of there at all so it's hard to claim one subject as my best.  Maybe English.  My worst subject has maybe always been science and P.E., and once I got into high school I'd add math and business class to unfavorites.

Q:  Do you have special childhood memories of playing with cousins? Talk about them.

A:  I was very lucky as a child to be raised across the street from one family of cousins.  I was the youngest of all 11 of us.  That turned out pretty awesome for me.  In addition to that greatness, I have a load of great cousins, each one better than the last.

this is me

this is me

What is on your life list?

I got an idea from here.  I'm not sure I can come up with 100 things but I'm gonna give it my best.  This may be ridiculous, mushy, or plain dumb but we'll see what I can brainstorm in the next few minutes.

1. graduate from high school
2. see new york city
3. go to college
4. meet W
5. give a public speech {not at church}
6. read the book of mormon in less than a week
7. go to the temple
8. get married
9. be a mommy
10. be a truth speaker
11. call roll at the Utah GOP convention
12. visit inside the white house
13. understand cultures
14. help people {no matter where they are in life}
15. teach in an elementary school
16. teach in a junior high school
17. teach at a high school
18. teach at a university
19. own a farm animal
20. have a yard
21. have 1-3 more babies {don't tell Jake about the 3}
22. be sealed to Jake in the temple
23. paint a strip or chevron accent wall
24. teach Daisy to roll over
25. get a Main Coon cat
26. own this painting
27.  go to the clear blue Caribbean water
28. memorize my favorite scripture verses
29. be a crazy cat lady
30. braid my own hair
31. ride this bike
32. muffle the doors {or teach the kids not to slam them}
33. refinish a few pieces of furniture to be colorful
34. buy something at Anthropolgie without checking the price
35. don't use the cheat foot pedal button on the organ
36. see Wicked
37. visit the northwest
38. visit the east coast
39. go to Nauvoo
40. visit as many temples as possible
41. read every book in my house
42. take the kids to the aquarium
43. play Waterfall like I used to
44. send 30 notes in the mail in a month
45. make Jake a real Sunday dinner
46. dress up as a family for Halloween
47. read all the books on my pinterest board
48. foster a love of reading in my children
49. see Grandma once a week
50. teach Noah to write his name
51. blog something interesting
52. write something to be published
53. make Swedish Pancakes without a recipe
54. organize a creative space
55. use all of my pinterest recipes
56. make my home a gathering place
57. attend an entire year of Sunday School
58. keep the table clear all week
59. see my own tulips bloom in the spring
60. have a cute front door
61. visit Sweden and Germany
62. see the Redwoods
63. keep Jake from flying an airplane
64. keep Jake from jumping from an airplane
65. help Jake with his other goals
66. have an overly-festive holiday party
67. be a part of something big
68. sell something I make
69. have an different apron for every day of the week
70. keep the owl full of cookies
71. paint my bedroom
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this is me

this is me

what I learned while I learned to play the piano

i learned that even with an imperfect teacher, a student can still learn (flashbacks to the Canadian's trailer)

i learned that a desire to learn is worth as much as practice (lucky for me, i could trick teachers into thinking i practiced)

i learned that you can help yourself when you don't have any help

i learned that church music is easier to learn

i learned that being willing to play gives you opportunities to learn and grow

i learned that there are people who help you by pushing you

i learned that sometimes people who know more, and share it, are selfless

i learned to love people and participate in activities that i never would have without music (ward choir)

i learned that music can express any emotion you feel, with excites or calms a soul (sad, happy, energy, lonely)

i learned that throwing my music only meant i would have to pick it up and try again (and if i didn't, i would find it smoothed out on the piano, next to a treat from Sister Lewis)

While I am not a concert musician, and have other shortcomings, being able to play the piano has been a blessing in my life for a long time.  Even when I could is play only the right-hand in young womens, I liked it and was learning.  There is nothing that could have replaced the love and help Sister Lewis gave me while I was a teenager.  She was patient and long-suffering while she molded me.  I spent a lot of time in her home with her and Brother Lewis.  They showed me so much kindness and treated me like one of their many grandchildren.  Sister Lewis taught me a lot more than music, but about the gospel, about life, about being a lady, etc.  I will remember her and Brother Lewis's service and love for others forever and ever.

this is me

this is me

Jobs I've Had

1. I have done a LOT of babysitting (20 years & counting)
2. Golden Swirl or Golden Spoon or something (4 months)
3. Filing at IHC (I have no idea how long that lasted)
4. Hancock Fabrics (1 year)
5. Nanny (3 months)
6. Teller, Back-up Lead Teller, Lead Teller, Loan Officer (4.5 years)
7. Job Coach Trainer (5.25 years)
8. Stay at Home Human & Preschool Teacher (A recent occupational move)

I really liked the fabric store.  It was pretty fun.

I really liked the D.I. for a lot of reasons.  I'll probably write about that forever.  I have so many stories to share.

Tomorrow is my Little Duck Preschool Open House.  And, Tuesday will be my first day with a load of children.  I'm curious to see how that plays out, but I am excited.

this is me

this is me

Education - Me at Preschool

My mom organized a neighborhood preschool, like a co-op.  Several moms participated and took turns being the teacher.  On preschool day, I would go (or stay home) to another 4 year old's house to learn.  I loved it.  Back in the day, I could walk to those houses down the road.  I can't imagine sending my small child to walk a block now.

As I have been preparing to teach preschool myself, I have been going through all of my mom's supplies.  It makes me thankful for computers and for real photocopy machines.

Education - Me in Elementary School

I was a Riverdale Roadrunner.  "We are the Roadrunners for Riverdale School!  We'll stand together, loyal forever!  Something ...... So let's all give a cheer!  Something .... We're the greatest school in the land!"

Kindergarten - Mrs. Sheen

I really looked forward to, and begged, to be able to right 1990 on my papers.

1st Grade - Mrs. Tremea

My dad checked me out of school to get my ears pierced.  Darci Hyer got to wear dangly earrings on the first day of school.  I loved them.

2nd Grade - Mrs. Unck

I got baptized after school on my birthday.  Mrs. Unck made me feel good about that.  This is the year I learned what constipated means when a little girl got to sit on the rocking chair all day.

3rd Grade - Mrs. Hyde

I could beat Mrs. Hyde at the times table tests.  I loved that.  And I remember getting in a fight about what day and channel you could watch TGIF.  Those were the days.

4th Grade - Mrs. Whitney

 My friend got in trouble for talking when I was talking too.  But Mrs. Whitney said I knew how to work and talk at the same time.  Also, I had to carry a barf bucket for my friend to the office.

5th Grade - Mrs. Scalise

This is the year I began to learn that I was not the smartest or the most popular.  Thanks for that, Mrs. Scalise.  I remember starting to envy others for their brains and votes for class president.  I almost had it, Brandon.

6th Grade - Mrs. Handy

I started Young Womens during 6th grade.  I felt very young because I was in elementary school.  My Grandma Stone died that January.

Education - Me in Junior High

 

TH Bell Junior High - three years there taught me a lot of lessons.  I liked a lot about the curriculum because it was so varied and more challenging compared to elementary school.  The memorable lessons I learned were more life lessons that science or algebra.

1. If I give my best effort, it will be recognized.

2. Girls have babies in junior high.

3. If I don't try, I don't get to choose the consequence (retaking Algebra)

4. When I do my work and focus, I'm a pretty good student.

5. Teachers don't think smart-alecs are funny.

6. It frustrates teachers when they know you're smart but you don't try.

7. Kids get involved in dangerous activities, even crimes.

8. I'm a good organizer.

9. Art is not a class for me.

10. You have to work to earn what you need, not just what you want.

11. Friends don't determine who you are, you get to choose, and sometimes that means they aren't your friend anymore.

12.  The Young Women's Program/Church is the best hobby for teenagers.

Education - Me in High School

 

Bonneville High School was filled with things I had never seen or heard of before.  During my junior year, there were about 50 girls who were pregnant or who already had a child (or two).  Drugs and alcohol were available but I was naive enough not to know where they were or why or how you would get them.  I am disappointed with my high school performance because it could have been so much better.  The year 2000 was pretty much my worst year.  Luckily, my senior year went well.  I attended and I got a 4.0 GPA all year.  It wasn't that hard to do, but I can see that a little focus goes a long way.

I loved being apart of my ward and the Young Women's.  That really was my interest and how I spent my time, besides babysitting.  I gained a testimony then, that I can see much better now, that focusing on the Gospel is the happiest and safest place to be.  I was proud to wear my YW Torch and Medallion.  Although, I was surrounded with negative things and people during my junior and high school, I never felt tempted or interested in what I could see happening around me.  Instead, my young brain had no idea how others were getting involved with everything we had been warned against all our lives.  I was a junior or senior when I was offered marijuana and beer.  It wasn't where I was, I was being invited to it, but I just laughed at the person who offered it and invited them to mutual that night.  In fact, that person is pictured in this blog.  I thought after that many years of being friends, we would know each other a little better.

 

During the last quarter of my senior year, I started dating a returned missionary.  Teenagers are so dumb.  I found out that I don't like people telling me what I can't do, so I moved to New Jersey after graduation to be a nanny.  Don't worry, the RM and I got together several more times and even though it still didn't work out I didn't keep moving across the country.

When I graduated, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do until the fall.  For being such a planner and list maker, I left high school with no plans other than a trip to California.  I was job searching across the country for a nanny job and that seemed most intriguing.

 

Education - Me in College

 

I started school the same day I started working at America First Credit Union.  I lived in South Salt Lake with Wendy, I worked in West Valley, and I went to school at Salt Lake Community College.  I loved college and I loved working.  I attended seminary, too.  Also, I loved George W. Bush.  I loved Public Speaking and Math 970 (too bad I didn't try harder in high school).  I took a government and political ideology class.  I got a 4.0 GPA while taking 17 credit hours.  That's when I decided my major would be Political Communications.  I wanted to be the next Ari Fleischer.  After a year of school in Salt Lake I moved home.

Weber State University is not the school for me.  After a semester there, I knew I didn't care for it.  But it was a blessing to be home that semester to be with my parents.  In 2004 I bought my first Toyota.  After the spring semester I transferred to Utah State University when I found their Family and Consumer Finance Program.  Over the summer, I did a class from home and commuted to the Hyrum Branch of America First.

In the fall, I moved to Utah State.  Moving day was kinda funny because my dad was in meetings and my mom was doing stuff so I packed my car and told her goodbye and I drove away.  I settled in quickly before seeing any roommates.  Luckily, we had some roommate switcheroos so Lisa could move in.

Utah State and Logan was the place for me.  I loved it there.  I worked 30 hours at the Logan Branch, I went to school at least 15 credit hours every semester, I volunteered, I did internships, and I played and played.  I'm not sure how college students fit all of that in but they do.  I loved what I studied and I worked for two of my professors when I could.  During college, it's probably safe to say I only went out with the aforementioned RM on an unplanned but annual basis.  Well, except the one guy from Salt Lake, but that's not worth mentioning other than it gave me more perspective.  I was sad to leave Logan after graduation because that is where I became an adult, I think.

 

 

Does everyone experience a "I Wish I Had Known...." after their education is over?  I would have done a few things differently.  I would have focused more regularly.  I would have excelled it I had tried.  That's okay, though.  I made it through alive and with a college diploma.  And now I know things I didn't know before, and not just about credit reports.

this is me

this is me

The Motor-Vu to see Ice Age 4 with the kids.  We read stories until it was dark and then loved the show!

Jake and I took a random drive and climbed a little hill we found on a dirt road.  Hello, Willard Bay!  Such a great afternoon ... no homework, no work, kids were away ... It was weird to have that time to ourselves!

So I know this isn't really about me, but I really want to feature the person I'm most grateful for.

Jake works so hard for our family, and in whatever little time he has away from work, he spends time with us and does good things for our family and friends.  He is empathetic and selfless.  He'll do anything for a family member or friend and I appreciate that so much about him.  Jake loves and takes care of me and I love him for that, but he also does what he can to take care of others and I really love him for that.

So on this About Me day ... I say, I've got a great husband.

this is me

this is me

What I Learned at D.I. (2007-2012)


I can't decide if this should be a bullet-point list or an editorial.  I bet that I think of more things to say about the D.I. as it becomes more of a memory.  Here are a few tidbits...

A lot of the operations at Deseret Industries could be modified to be much more efficient and consistent.  But, the purpose of the D.I. isn't to run an profit-driven thrift store.  It's about the people inside.

Work is a principle of the gospel.  It's much easier to make positive changes and to build self-esteem when you have something productive to do every day.  Work isn't just for money.

Sometimes, the struggles and burdens people carry (whether self-inflicted or not) are giant.  And overcoming them is really a miracle.  I've learned that the struggles that people have are not for me to judge.  How they come upon those circumstances are so varied, and generally so sad, that their sins and addictions were results of something bigger than what we might presume.

Having a supportive family, having a bishop who knows you, knowing your neighbors, and being loved is a BIG deal.

Education and work experience is invaluable.  Illiteracy is among us and it is a very difficult accomplishment to learn reading, writing, and simple math as an adult.

Living, at least to adulthood, without being introduced to drugs and alcohol (especially in your home) is rare.

Abuse exists in many forms.

Some fear success just as many of us fear failure.

Heavenly Father knows everyone and he puts things in their path that will bless their lives.  But agency still prevails and individuals must choose whether or not to accept the blessing.

Giving compliments and positive feedback can change relationships and introduce trust.

Telling someone you trust them may be words they never heard before.

Donations to Deseret Industries are consecrated donations to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  They support a program that is greater than what is seems from the outside.  Until you've heard a "Success Story," you'll never understand what your support of the D.I. is really worth.

That's all for now.... but I'm sure there is more to come.

this is me

this is me

How are you different today then you were 10 years ago?

During the summer of 2002, I was trying to find a job on the East Coast.  I really wanted to move back there and be a nanny.  So I did it.  I was only there a few months, and it was a LONG few months.  I turned 19 in New Jersey.

I was different because I was ready to try almost any adventure, and move anywhere to do it.  Now, the adventures I crave are at home ... wife, mom, cooking, blogging, teaching, crafting, making our house a home, hopefully increasing our family population at some point, etc.  In 2002, I had more aspirations to be a public figure than I did to be a homemaker.  I wouldn't say I settled or changed my mind, but for everything there is a season.

How are you different today then you were 5 years ago?

In 2007, I was a year out of college and bought my first home.  Then, I decided to change career fields.  I left the credit union business and went to Deseret Industries. Deseret Industries opened a whole world to me of people and lifestyles I hadn't really encountered, let alone, worked side by side with.

I was different then because my main focus was on Relief Society (my ward) and being an aunt.  I loved the sisters I got to work with and the bishoprics were awesome!  I learned so much about the Relief Society and how to really serve in a calling.  Now, I'm making another occupational change that will remove me from the world of D.I. and put me at home.  And, the time I used to spend going to ward activities and meetings has been replaced with being a mom.  I still have a calling, but it's not my main hobby anymore.

How are you different today then you were 1 year ago?

Last year, I was drowning.  I felt ungrateful.  I was overwhelmed.  I was confused.  I had gotten just what I wanted but didn't know how to deal with it.  I had expectations that were through the roof.  I was spread very thin and felt like I wasn't good at anything because nothing had my undivided attention. 

I was different then.  After some time has passed, some help (family, friends, therapy, and RX), and a lot of self-talk, I've learned to enjoy each day ... pretty much.  I know I'm not good at everything and I can laugh it up.  I do what I can and sometimes I don't do what I can.  But, my family is healthy, basically happy, and not hungry so what else can I do?

How are you different today then you were 1 month ago?

Last month, I was getting a little overwhelmed again.  Apparently, I struggle when I feel like I am out of control and don't have a specific plan.  Some of my co-workers tease me about my lists and organizational skills but really, at work I can keep things pretty much the way I like them.  Now, in my personal life, patience is a lesson my soul fights.

I was different last month because I was being too critical of my life, and WAY too impatient.  Now, I've got a little perspective.  Oddly, life is much more enjoyable when you get a little perspective.

this is me

this is me

What do you remember about your honeymoon?

In the Salt Lake City Airport, the morning after we got married, we ate Sbarro Pizza.  Then, we flew to San Diego.  Our hotel was a block in front of the train, and one block from the water.  Upon check in, the hotel had warm cookies.  The warm cookies were also available every time we could sneak one on our way past the front desk.  What I've mention so far are meaningful stories.

We went on a dinner cruise our first night there.  The Dramamine and the smooth boat ride put me to sleep after dinner.  Whoops.  I was awake enough to watch a lot of awkward/drunk people doing a lot of awkward/drunk dancing.

Maybe on the second night there, Jake made us go on a horrible errand.  Remember the Sbarro Pizza?  It was still in me.  Along with whatever else I ate since the previous Thursday.  That's a lot of food.  I only told Jake because it was a little funny but he takes the role of caring for his family quite seriously.  So .... Walgreens or whatever was the stop we made.  Cranberry Juice and Mirolax or whatever that's called.  Because I like fancy drinks, I insisted on whip cream, too.  When we got back to the hotel, Jake whipped me up something quite nice.  NOT!  It wasn't nice.  It was yuck yuck.  I whined and begged and tried to negotiate a way out of the beverage but it didn't work.  My advice, don't tell Jake if you're backed up.


We spent a whole day at the San Diego Zoo where we bought the kids stuffed animals.  Noah's turned out to be his favorite little guy to have in bed with him ... A hippo he named Num Num.  We toured some cool boats and submarines, including the U.S.S. Something or Other.  In the submarine, we looked out the spy hole and saw some inappropriate PDA happening on the top of the boat next door.


We had lots of yummy meals, especially one that was a late breakfast for us but opening lunch time in Little Italy.  Delicious.  Authentic, thin crust pizza.  That was by far my favorite pizza in this lifetime.  The Cheesecake Factory was yum, too.  I really like the walk over there because of the mall .... Crate and Barrel, Anthropolgie, Nordstroms (where I got some awesome shoes but made it an unfortunate event for a lady on the escalator), etc.

One afternoon, I wanted to go out exploring but Jake was napping.  He woke up to join me on my unplanned adventure.  Not that he wasn't happy, but the nap was his first choice, he trudged down to the lobby with me and we picked up warm cookies on our way out the door.  I'm not sure why, but my cookie was gone in a flash.  As we rounded the corner I snatched Jake's cookie and shoved it in my mouth.  Fourteen months later, and that's pretty much all he remembers from our honeymoon.

It was pretty awesome to spend so much time with Jake, uninterrupted (except by a right-wing nut job who wouldn't stop calling my phone).  It was relaxing and fun to be able to mozy around with no real set-in-stone type plans.  I liked it.  I like him.  A lot.

this is me

this is me

What do you remember about your wedding day?


1. Woke up with no time for breakfast.  Wendy took me to the salon where Tiffani made me beautiful.

2. Came home to my house to see Jake in his suit.  Curled Abbi's hair.  Put on my wedding dress, good thing RaNae was there.  Gave Abbi her special Vintage Pearl necklace.

3. Rode with Jake to the Timbermine.  It felt kinda funny.

4. Saw my family already there making the place beautiful, just that way I wanted it.  Loved it.  My uncle was there and took some excellent family pictures.

5. A lot of great people came.  I was a little overwhelmed.

6. My dad got the party started, and then we got married.  It took like five whole minutes.  Then I cried, and my makeup streamed down my face.  Apparently, I looked horrendous because my dad was appalled.  Jake gave me a hanky.

7. Jon Schmidt played and we loved it.

8.  Lunch came, and I missed it, but I got to talk to everybody just how I wanted.

9. We had yummy cupcakes and did more visiting.

10.  Then, we left the mess for my family to clean up, and the kids went away for the weekend, and we headed to Salt Lake.

11. I opened the cards on the way to the hotel and finished when we got there, so excited for the gift certificates we could use in San Diego.

12. I gobbled up the tuxedo strawberries and the sparkling cider because it looked beautiful on the table.  I don't think I saved any for Jake.


The end.

Things Jake say happened on our wedding day:

1. Bishop Hatch said "Boss and Bride." (Jake blames a lot of things on what "Denton said."
2. I shoved cupcake straight up his nose.
3. My make-up was horrendous after the crying.
4. I started playing a thumb war with him during the 4 minute ceremony.
5. I ate grilled cheese for dinner at the hotel and apparently that's not very adult-like.

this is me

this is me

How did you know that he was the "one"?

I think I just knew.  It wasn't like a lightening "HE IS THE ONE!"  It was more like, I wasn't self-conscious around him, we communicated (or Jake did, at least), he had fun and laughed, we talked A LOT, we just grew together.  Then, that scared the heck out of me (and Jake, too, I think).  So I ran away.  I thought that's what I should do.  I even felt like that's what I should do.  Then, I had a horrible six weeks because I felt so alone without Jake.  I totally rebounded on Christmas, poor soul, and blared the holiday tunes, went to every holiday activity I could find, decorated, cooked, baked, spent time with anyone who would, made my sister cry on Christmas about Skip-Bo, and felt so, so lonely.

Then, on New Year's Eve, I banned together with my friends to think about how awful this one guy had been to a really great girl.  How could he just walk away with no reason?  Whoops.  I did that.  The next morning, I took advantage of the holiday.

"This is Joey.  Happy New Years, Jake.  Good luck with the next semester of school."

On our "we can go out again if explain yourself" date, I told Jake I wasn't sure why I broke up with him, but that if he would let me have a second chance, I'd take it.  We both admitted we were a little nervous about how fast things had been going before and neither of us were ready to get married.

Fast forward two weeks .... let's get married.

Over and over, since that time, I've known and been reminded that Jake is "the one" for me.  Forever.