Tuesday, May 20, 2008

reality television

I want to get something out on the table.....sometimes I watch reality t.v.

It started in 2003:
The Apprentice: I admit that I watched this for maybe 3 seasons. I don't know why.
Joe Millionaire: They tricked the girls into thinking he was rich, but he wasn't. But he was cute.
Dancing With the Stars: I watched the season with John O'Hurley. The finale was devastating and I have never trusted reality t.v. since.
2008 Current Season:
Hell's Kitchen: I don't know why...I don't. The guy is so mean. And that Matty guy (matty?) looks like he's always going to cry. I don't have a favorite but instead I am curious about how this whole thing is going to work out.

Now, if I were in a reality t.v. show I would create one similar to Billy Madison. I would want to re-do K-12 public school. In elementary school I was pretty smart, plus, I had a bunch of friends. Unfortunately, my brains and popularity had a slow decline starting in junior high. I wonder if I didn't do excellent because I was lazy or if it really was just too tough.
If anybody wants in on the show, send a 3-sentence essay describing why you would be a good cast member and why you deserve the prize. I'll let you know.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

"i'll be too shy"

I know there is no use in beating a dead horse but....I had dinner tonight with my niece. It went down like this (totally out of the blue):

Marlie - "You'll probably sleep alone in your bed for the rest of your life."
(her mom told me Marlie had been telling her, recently, that she doesn't want any aunties to get married)

Me - "Why wouldn't I want to?"

Marlie - "No one wants to. But I can live with you at Grandma's house."

Me - "Don't you like uncles?"

Marlie - "Only the ones I've got. I'll be too shy for new uncles."

Great. She found the root of all this evil "dating game" crap. I'm too shy to find a "new uncle." When it comes down to it, all I can do is throw out quick-witted insults. In my brain, I have good, sincere feelings but they can't beat the sarcastic crap that pours out of my mouth.

I'd ask for advice but I know myself too well. Your ideas are great but there's just something too scary about really trying them. Thanks for your time though.