Dear Katherine (fyi, ice, or asap too),

I would like to congratulate you on your upcoming nuptuals. I'd like to see you sometime but figure it wouldn't be fun to cram it into a week like this. I look forward to the day I'll see your face again. I am cooking a totino's pizza right now. I'm not sure what special thing I could do for you this week but just think of if I could think like you, I would do something both creative and thoughtful. Imagine that. In real life, I'll just come to your wedding and stuff. Maybe after you're all married and everything I can still see your face. You're pretty dependable and so I imagine I will. That is all.

Your unreliable, periodically emotional, biggest fan ever,

Joey L. Hansen
(fire)