642 Things to Write About

642 Things to Write About

I am an astronaut.  I had a perfect day.

I am the 10,000,000th million person to travel into space.  Our family is moving to Jupiter where I have been offered the prestigious position as Captain of the DIY Industry.  I never imagined I would ever travel into space due to my horrible fear of the black, gravity-less, overwhelming darkness that space is.  But, I've consented due to the fact that there hasn't been an injury or fatality related to space travel in over 100 years.  The technology and equipment offer a comfortable and luxurious ride.

There are booming economies on every planet.  I'm so grateful I was offered Jupiter when I was chosen as one of the nine Captain positions.  Mercury has a failing ice making industry.  The people there love the sun and heat but really haven't put two and two together, yet.  Venus had a successful market in shaving techniques and products but it seems humans are really pulling away from daily hair removal.  The industry there has yet to learn about the laser/Nair techniques used on Earth.  Earth's captain is having a heck of a time due to the struggles between the nations there and the total lack of financial sense.  We were able to change our money to Juppy's before the dollar lost all its value.  Fashion rules Mars.  They seem to be focusing a lot on mustaches right now.  What's the deal with mustaches?  Saturn can't seem to sell their vehicles.  I never thought Saturns were popular on Earth, I can't imagine how they'll sell them solar system wide.  Uranus has the monopoly on plumbing and paper making.  Neptune has taken over the music and entertainment industry.  It's such a pain to change all of my iTunes over to nepTunes.  And, Pluto, a joke.  It's the laughing stock of planets.  It has become a tourist attraction much like the Disneyland of Earth.

We live a comfortable life, much like Earth.  Jake leads the way in all home improvement, restoration, motorcycles, and hunting endeavors.  Abbi and Noah are in the top of their classes.  Abbi excels in her science and art endeavors while Noah has become quite an expert in fort building.

The DIY Industry on Jupiter is prosperous and flourishing.  All creative resources are in abundance and at my disposal.  As Captain, I have the edge in DIY creations.  I see, review, and analyze every DIY project before it is released to the solar system.  I have several special projects teams working solely on my ideas.  We're on the brink of major break-throughs in the most efficient laundry system.  We've already conquered meal planning, homework stations, and Subway art.

In addition to the opportunities we each have, there is and abundance of space available for pets.  And, due to the limited gravity, their hair sticks to them so there is absolutely no shedding.  Any animal can live in the house.  Also, we're testing out a new additive in animal feed that changes the function in their brains to make clean-up apart of their natural behavior.  All animals are automatically housetrained and clean up after themselves outdoors.  We have a clowder of Maine Coon cats we brought over with us, in addition to the dogs and farm animals Jake brought along with him.

I never imagined I'd become an astronaut/travel into space, but I did, and I am having a perfect day.