Are you a winner?

Abbi's softball season ended last Tuesday.  She enjoyed it so much, mostly because she got to be with her team.  In fact, she figured she was there playing with ALL the girls, not against the other team.  So, that made it all the better for her.  To Abbi, the more the merrier when it comes to kids.  She loved being the catcher and she loved left-field.  She wasn't afraid of the ball when it came to her or when she was up to bat.  She did very well for her first year.  She even tagged a girl out who was running to third!

That said ... I've wondered this before but now I just needed to think out loud about it (or on the blog)....

There is no score keeping allowed at little league games.  It's so casual, our team was never even sure what the other team name was during the end-of-game cheer.  But the last game rolled around and all the kids got trophies that say:

CHAMPION

Machine Pitch Softball

Abbi was SO SO excited to get her first trophy.  Here's my question ... When we reward children with awards and trophies when there was no measurable or identified success, are we setting them up for disappointment in the future.

Let's say Abbi gets a 100% on a test.  Where's the trophy that day?

What about when she plays a sport where trophies or ribbons are given to the actual season winners and she's not on that team?

Is this how we've all been set up to think success is only in winning?  Do I only think I've done a good job when I've been celebrated and showered with an award?

How do I know when I've earned an award (or reward) if they're given out willy nilly?

How do I recognize when it was my responsibility and expectation to do what I did or if I went above and beyond when the rewards are inconsistent?

I believe this is the foundation for the fear of failure, some cases of depression, or apathy.  Our culture (sports, education, peers) teaches that we should look forward to happiness.  And, that happiness comes from achievements, recognition, and awards.

Don't get me wrong.  I think observed positive behavior should be recognized, children (and people in general) should be taught to find value in their success on their own.  I don't try to excel for recognition.  I want to excel to be a valuable person and to improve myself.  There are people who find a lot of motivation in recognition, but I hope that is not where they find their self-worth.

Am I getting anywhere, here?

Brass tacks:

• I think kids should celebrate at the end of the season whether they were the best team or not.
• I think trophies have their place and should be given to teams to are actively, and purposely, participating in a competitive sport. 
• Kids should be taught the value of trying and personal improvement.
• You should brush twice a day to keep the dentist away.
• Kids should learn how to be proud of themselves without feeling bad or hurting others.
• Kids should be taught how to be good winners and losers.
• I'm really hungry right now.

Sunshine in the Mornings

I love to wake up when the sun has already lighted up the sky.  I love the cool morning fresh air.  I love the cloudless blue sky.  I love the sun shining in my eyes as it peeks over the mountain.  I love the fresh air coming in through the kitchen window.

Remember, just a couple months ago there may have been a rather bitter post about Monday mornings.  But now we have proof ... sunshine is good for the soul.  Or the bitter, tired body :)

I is for I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW

I is for I don't care right now.

 

I had planned for this post to be a lot about the ideas I have and little snippets of projects that are currently in the works around here.  But, like the title says, I don't really care right now.

 

Life is full of twists and turns.  Think of the time you sit on the front row of the roller coaster.  The bright sun shines in your eyes while your stomach probably feels a little like butterflies when you strapped yourself in, thinking "Why am I doing this?"  Then, the ride jerks forward and your body feels a little tense.  You know it's going to be alright and you know you're going to have fun but the adrenaline just takes it's time hitting.  Once it does, every twist and turn is exciting and you may have even found enough courage to raise your arms before the camera shoots while you're hanging upside down.  What a memory!  You hop off the ride, running to get in the line for another go.

 

Sometime, the rides we take are in the dark.  We know there will be twists and turns, ups and downs but whether or not we got over the first scary loop, we're already shooting into the next.  Sometimes there is no time to catch your breath before the next twist takes it away again.  The thrill of the ride is lost in the dark unknown.  You can't quite explain what you've just been through before you've been thrown into the next loop.  There doesn't seem like there will ever be a break in the uncontrollable speed of the ride.  You can hardly wait until the ride slams to a stop.  But then it does.  When you pull your body up and out of the seat, you trudge off, hoping to never see that ride again, let alone be a passenger.  You even debate whether or not to leave your lunch in the bushes near by.

The thing is ... it just may be the same roller coaster.  Sometimes we get to feel the rush of the wind on our face and sometimes that same wind overwhelms us.  Whether it's light or dark while you zoom through the twists and turns, the ride goes on.  The difference is the light.  The light is when (or what) makes us feel safe, it gives us the power to hold on until the end of the ride and hopefully, helps us even enjoy the ride.

 

I just gotta find the switch to turn on these darn lights.

a few thoughts

my comments on dad

I hastily reported that as his children, my siblings and I may be enjoying our last good years out in public with Dad as he is a wild man.  I would like to clarify my statement after my dear mother's complaint and my dad's definition of wild man.  My mom said I was mean and my dad says that we don't understand that he actually has complete control and turns in on and off at his leisure.  Dad admits that his behavior is solely for the enjoyment of his children.  I admit ... I enjoy it.  Wendy worries the most.

U.S. Government gives $10,000,000 reward

I read this morning that if I find a certain terrorist military leader, I can turn him in to the U.S. Government for ten million dollars.  Do they understand that my generation is paying into a U.S. Government Retirement Fund (ie: Social Security) and we have been made well aware that we will never reap the benefits of being productive workers who will one day wear our bodies out and need to retire?  How about the pay out for this terrorist dude is a little less, and I get my social security when I'm 67 1/2 years old.  I'd like to list a few other ideas for rewards, that are just as likely, and just as much the giver's to give:

For one Diet Coke, I will give you three D.I. dollars.

For a wide variety of Aveda products, I will give you Jake's motorcycle.

I will bet you $395,000 that the Texas Rangers win the World Series.

I will fly a hot air balloon to China if I don't get to eat Chinese food by Saturday.

I will pay all of the loose coins in my possession for a house not hooked onto others.

I will trade straight across my brother's collection of sports cards for one house maid.

Please let me know if you are interested in making my dreams come true.  While you're at it, let your overly-compensated, career politician know that I can make deals too!

I thought I was conservative ...

... and I still am.  I think.  I'm a pretty conservative person when it comes to political issues.  Tonight, my mind got all jumbled up during the Republican Caucus I hosted.  I am a precinct chairman and tonight more than 60 people came to the caucus.  The recent redistricting has really made a difference, plus, there was a lot of encouragement through the media and the Church.  But, tonight, I had to really think about where I stand.  I'm not a democrat, but, I didn't really blend in with the group I hosted tonight, either. 

Q: How can a voter chose who to vote for before they have learned about all of the candidates?

Q: Although there are benefits to re-electing a candidate, and come voters don't believe in term limits, shouldn't we allow other candidates to have a shot?  

Q: What would happen if the leadership of every committee had to be reorganized every year?

Q: What if committee leadership wasn't based on tenure?

Q: How would politics be different if there was a two-term cap on every elected position?

Q: What if it wasn't a career to be a politician, and instead it was a voluntary position?  Let's say I'm senator.  I'd like help with the transportation costs and maybe Diet Coke during the meetings.  I don't think it would be wise for me to run or be elected for office if my family wasn't in a financial position to provide healthcare and the loss of my full-time wages is I wanted to be a full-time politician.

Q: I'm still senator.  Now it's 37 years later.  How could I possibly be in touch with my constituents enough to represent them with my votes in Washington if I have been on the road full-time for half my life.  I couldn't even be in touch enough with my spouse or kids to vote for our favorite dinner by then.

Q: I'm president.  I got involved in politics last year.  How do I fill my cabinet with qualified, ethical, and educated staff?

I hate how messy politics and government can be.  Nothing is straight-forward.  I really like things to be black and white and when they aren't, I get frustrated if I can't figure it out.  What this all boils down to is, I'm not for Hatch.  There.  I said it.  I am for Romney.  I am for term limits.  I wish committees were reorganized every year.  I wish elected officials didn't make a career out of politics.  They should have the experience and knowledge to be elected, they should serve, and then they should go back to the real world where they can continue to be valuable, experienced, and knowledgeable citizens.  

My name is Joey Tracy and I am Unaffiliated.

We were talking about it...

My friend, Barbara, was over this afternoon and while we were quite busy with nonsense and then with some painting we started talking about how God puts people where they need to be and prepare them for the plan and the blessing He has in store for each of His children. Periodically, we get ideas in our minds that our past or our lack of faith is the reason we have not acquired the blessing we believe are instore. Or maybe we have the picture for our lives drawn in the ink of our teenage wisdom. All of those reasons cause hearthache, loneliness, or other varieties of self-imposed emotional hurt. But the good news is we came up with the truth.

God doesn't punish us for the past, just as He doesn't withhold blessings. It's a process that every person goes through to learn that God has an individual plan, unique to each of His children. When we believe we are going without, for whatever reason, we just forgot that God's timeline is not like our own. Just as His ways are not our ways. See... Barbara and I came up with what we already knew. Just because we have mistakes mixed in with the years we wait for the life we imagined, doesn't mean there wasn't a reason for the wait.

Whatever weaknesses I have/had and the service/righteousness I tried to render during the years I wondered wasn't the reason I was 27 when Jake and I got married. I had experiences and opportunities that became apart of who I am and in the meantime I needed to wait for the right time to meet the right person so we could be together.

Barbara described it like this.... As we go through experiences and face trials and difficulties sometimes of our own making, we are gathering small colorful threads that start to create pieces. You can't quite make out what you are seeing, and then all the sudden your picture and God's picture start to align, then you see the threads have created a beautiful rug. All the pieces, that seemed like random pieces at the time, were never random at all. They bring you to the right place.... The temple, the scriptures, to prayer, to others through service, and maybe even to your family.

"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersover thou goest." Joshua 1:9

please let me explain

At the risk of being offensive, I decided the time has come to state my opinions and explain my theories related to the Facebook (FB).  My behavior on the website (est. 2005) has been a little like a roller coaster ride. 

I use it.
In my altered view of being personal, I post pictures, sometimes a status, periodically a link to my blog, and I push "like" on a lot of my "friends" posts.

I don't use it.
Several times I have gone AWOL on FB.  I recognize that any amount of time spent browsing that website could most certainly be used a more productive, even happier way.  I have purposely stayed away from FB for days, for weeks, even more than a month once.

I like it.
I like FB for a lot of reasons. I like to see pictures that my family posts and I like to read funny one-liners people use as their status/captions/comments. We all know that I appreciate dry one-liners more than I appreciate a good meal.

I hate it.
I hate it because of the wildly inappropriate things people post anywhere on FB.  I especially hate it when people post things I don't like on my wall or as comments on my pictures. 

Let me loosely define "wildly inappropriate": any picture revealing parts of the body I wouldn't see at church (whether or not you just birthed a 16 pound baby), comments that twist other people's posts into something nasty (not funny, it ruins the whole post), swear words in general, personal or emergency type status (the worst way to learn about a death or a family emergency is on FB), picking a fight with one or more people by posting a comment on a wall other than your own, posting comments anywhere that you are a victim (which a licensed medical professional could track back through your own behavior) and blaming your circumstances on others, condolences,..... I'm leaving the list open because you know you've judged posts on FB as "wildly inappropriate."

I post pictures.
I have a lot of pictures on FB.  It's fun to post them and, occasionally, I want to share them with more than the 3 people reading my blog.

I don't post pictures.
I go through phases where I can literally see the walls I have built around myself.  FB + walls = unrest.  Those are the times I don't post anything.  It's probably the same theory on this blog.  I think things like:  no one cares to see this, no one cares to read this, it's no one's business that I think this, someone will judge me for this.  Wow.  I never really listed those reasons before, makes me sounds unwell. 

I stalk people.
It's true.  I'm going to vote that it's not stalking if you go through the pages of the people who have accepted you as their FB friend.  But any time I spend looking up people and reading pages of non-friends, I would dare say is FB stalking.  There were about 6 weeks where Jake was a serious victim of FB stalking even though on week 2 his page privacy changed and I could only see the same basic information.  I don't know why I kept checking for the next 4 weeks.

I vow I will never stalk again. 
During the aforementioned "6 weeks" I decided not to look at Jake's page anymore.  I'm pretty sure I never succeeded.  But I will mention I have been successful in the past.  I haven't looked up and have no desire to see the pages of previous "interests/relationships," old friends/acquaintances, and I'm really considering a person connected by blood.  It never makes me happy or feel better to see their pages.

I accept friends. 
At one time I had over 300 FB friends.  I can't deny I do enjoy FB interactions with my family and my very close friends. 

I delete friends. 
I currently have 128 FB friends, with 3 requests pending.  Many times I have thought about deleting my whole account.  That's when the whole FB + walls = unrest equation weighs heavily on my mind.  Also factor in that I go through the "don't use it" time because I know my time can be better spent elsewhere.  I would really love to interact with the FB crowd in person more than on FB.  So all of this comes down to, I delete people.  Selfishly, I do it so I can feel better about justifying the time I spend on FB.  I don't want to use it as a time waster but as a updater on the people I currently spend time with in person.  I loved 5th grade.  I loved the singles' ward.  I loved my past co-workers.  It's not personal when I don't accept them as friends on FB.  I've been deleted from a few pages myself.  It's never hurt my feelings.  In fact, it makes me laugh because I know just how that person feels.

I hate Farmville.
I seriously judged people who play any game, especially this game, on FB.  Ridiculous.

I play Farmville. 
Anne set up Farmville on my FB to grow her farm somehow.  She used it until I took it over.  I got hooked.  And until I got to a level that made it pretty difficult to continue to the next level, I played this game with strategery.

I know I have not been totally faithful to these standards.  I have made concessions and exceptions to my FB rules.  That's okay.  This is the first time I've ever seen them written out either.

I dare you to send your comments (statement of opinion, explanation, animadversion, annotation, backtalk, buzz, comeback, commentatry, crack, criticism, dictum, discussion, editorial, elucidation, exposition, footnote, gloss, hearsay, illustration, input, judgment, mention, mouthful, note, obiter, observation, opinion, remark, report, review, two-cents' worth, wisecrack) without the use of a computer or cell phone. 

Address them to: 

Paperless

Joey Hansen

1801 West 5050 South

Roy, Utah 84067