Jake & Joey

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

I hastily reported that as his children, my siblings and I may be enjoying our last good years out in public with Dad as he is a wild man. I would like to clarify my statement after my dear mother's complaint and my dad's definition of wild man. My mom said I was mean and my dad says that we don't understand that he actually has complete control and turns in on and off at his leisure. Dad admits that his behavior is solely for the enjoyment of his children. I admit ... I enjoy it. Wendy worries the most.

U.S. Government gives $10,000,000 reward

I read this morning that if I find a certain terrorist military leader, I can turn him in to the U.S. Government for ten million dollars. Do they understand that my generation is paying into a U.S. Government Retirement Fund (ie: Social Security) and we have been made well aware that we will never reap the benefits of being productive workers who will one day wear our bodies out and need to retire? How about the pay out for this terrorist dude is a little less, and I get my social security when I'm 67 1/2 years old. I'd like to list a few other ideas for rewards, that are just as likely, and just as much the giver's to give:

For one Diet Coke, I will give you three D.I. dollars.

For a wide variety of Aveda products, I will give you Jake's motorcycle.

I will bet you $395,000 that the Texas Rangers win the World Series.

I will fly a hot air balloon to China if I don't get to eat Chinese food by Saturday.

I will pay all of the loose coins in my possession for a house not hooked onto others.

I will trade straight across my brother's collection of sports cards for one house maid.

Please let me know if you are interested in making my dreams come true. While you're at it, let your overly-compensated, career politician know that I can make deals too!