10 Lists of 10 Items for the Last 10 Days of 2010

10 Groups of People I'd Like to See "Elfed" Together

1. Anne and the Power Rangers
2. Wendy, Tina Fey, and Alec Baldwin
3. Me, Mr. Darcy, and Gerard Butler
4. Dad, Homer, and the inconceivable man
5. Mom, Aunt Valerie, and Aunt Becky
6. Cody, and the football coaches at the U and BYU
7. Jeremy and 2 midgets, who may or may not know each other
8. Jimmy, a trout, and a lobster
9. Bob Bennett, Mike Lee, and Tim Bridgewater
10. Nacho Libre, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, and Brian Regan

10 Lists of 10 Items for the Last 10 Days of 2010

10 Ways to Deal with Stress During the Holidays

1. Forgo buying groceries and eat only treats the neighbors may or may not have re-gifted to you.
2. Use every second of your spare time making holiday decorations out of candy rather than complete mundane tasks like personal hygeine.
3. Belt out Christmas Carols from November 1st to January 1st whenever you are in a vehicle.
4. Watch Elf on continuous play for 7 days straight.
5. Cheer up your sleeping quarters by stringing 21 strands of Christmas lights from your bedroom ceiling.
6. Make gingerbread men and bite their heads off before decorating them.
7. Write a holiday newsletter using characters and events from another family's life.  Write it like it's your story.
8. Serve spaghetti and maple syrup to holiday guests.
9. Wrestle pets into submission in order to dress them all up as Santa.
10. Talk about the light up penguins on your porch like they are the darndest pets you've ever had.

10 Lists of 10 Items for the Last 10 Days of 2010

10 Don't Need to Know Joey Facts

1. I laugh at fart jokes
2. I have a standing lunch appointment every Monday at Paradise Bakery
3. I was stung on both of my legs by a jelly fish in the Pacific Ocean
4. I almost missed my last college final due to the distracting drills of the ROTC on the QUAD.
5. In New Jersey, my 3 favorite people were all named Frank
6. Once I got pulled over on my way home from traffic court
7. While I am OCD organized at work, my bathroom counter and bedroom chair are rarely clutter free
8. I could play Skip-bo until my fingers bleed
9. Periodically, I have irrational ideas that I may or may not act upon
10. I have entertained the thought of having either a housekeeper or a large fat cat hanging around my house.

10 Lists of 10 Items for the Last 10 Days of 2010

10 Frequently Asked Holiday Questions

1. Is there sugar in syrup? YES.
2. How many blow-up decorations can I have in the yard and not be considered distasteful or hillbilly? HAS TO BE MORE THAN 25 WITH NO REPEATS.
3. How do you handle awkward carolers with whom you wish to avoid eye contact? IF YOU ARE ALONE, QUIETLY CRY WHILE YOU WALK BY THEM.  IF YOU HAVE COMPANY, TAKE A REALLY LONG DETOUR TO AVOID WALKING DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEM.
4. What events of the year are worthy of a holiday newsletter? DEATH OF PETS, NEARLY SPECIFIC BUT STILL VAGUE ECONOMIC SITUATION, AWARDS YOU AND A MILLION OTHER AMERICANS WON, CELEBRITY BREAK-UPS THAT SURPRISED YOU THE MOST, WHY YOU VOTED BOB BENNETT AT THE STATE CONVENTION.
5. How can I send a mass holiday greeting by text that will read as personal? YOU CAN'T. 
6. What is a clever, but thoughtful, Christmas Facebook status? VERY RARE THAT THIS CAN BE DONE.  THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON PREDICTED CAPABLE OF ACCOMPLISHING THIS.
7. What do I have to look forward to come January 2nd? NOTHING.  UNLESS YOU ENJOY THE PAIN OF FAILING NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS.
8. Which movie must be included in a holiday rotation? PRANCER.  THAT LITTLE GIRL HAS MORE FAITH IN THAT REINDEER THAN I HAVE IN A DOZEN HUMANS.
9. Who is your favorite reindeer? GLITTER...THE QUESTION DIDN'T SPECIFY IT HAD TO BE A FAMOUS REINDEER.
10. Can a lifelong apprehension towards a man in a Santa suit be overcome? NO.  IT'S NOT WORTH THE EFFORT AND AWKWARDNESS OF TRYING TO ACTUALLY DO THIS.

Happy Birthday Lisa M. Judkins!

I'll try to stay below the legal limit but there will be some sap included in this post.

Six years ago, I lived in an off-campus student apartment. Before moving in, I planned with a sister of my sister's friend, that we would live together at Utah State. That's right. My sister's friend's sister. Shari and I lived with one invisible girl and one crazy girl named Sunni. Sunni had a broken leg because she ran herself over with her jeep. There were a bunch of crazies living upstairs with whom Sunni socialized. Little did we know, an un-crazy lived up there too.

One night, the un-crazy one knocked on our door. Sunni had slipped a note under the aforementioned girl's bedroom door asking her to switch apartments. The said girl jumped at the chance. The next day she moved into Oakridge Apartment 6A! In my memory, Shari, Lisa, and I had a pretty fun time living together. Our adventures were so great, a book was published in our honor....Your Pants: A Memoir.

There have been times in my life where I land somewhere I never expected to, not knowing what to expect once I get there. This was one of these times. Fortunately for me, Lisa has been/is one of the best friends of my lifetime. Living in Logan and going to Utah State lands very close to the top of my favorite memories. I'm not good with beautiful sentiments and sappy words but we all know I appreciate lists. Allow me to list some of Lisa's qualities that put her at the top of my all-time favorite people:

1. Wit
2. Fashion
3. Memory
4. Stories from her life
5. A picture of a cat attacking her brother
6. The drives we went on in Logan and Layton
7. Loyalty, supportiveness, and encouragement
8. Honesty
9. Teaching me to cry at random times
10. Letting me cry my eyes out in front of her
11. Advice
12. Neil Diamond and the 4th of July
13. Trips to Bear Lake, California, and with the singles' wards
14. Sunday naps
15. The different laughs
16. Her great-grandmother's jokes
17. Laughing really hard ALL night long
18. Toast and Diet Coke breakfast
19. Harry Potter and other theater outings
20. The birthday party/Levi's butt
21. Her housing proximity to my housing
22. Her nuptials that landed her on my family tree
23. Pretty much I like everything about Lisa

There you have it, Lisa. The kindest sentiments I could muster. I'm glad we're friends.